CASE FILE No. 000
SOMEBODY TOUCHED MY EGGS
- Where
- the Street Between Shops
- Last seen
- 6:14 p.m., according to the app
- Gone by
- 6:14 p.m., according to the customer
Two dozen eggs, delivered 6:14 p.m. Customer says: never arrived.
Accused, by somebody
- Nonna Rigatoni, accused by Lao Lao
- Lao Lao LoMein, accused by Nonna
- the courier, Ricky Rigatoni, accused by both, separately: one at volume, one in writing
- Benny Farfalle, the mailman, accused for crossing the line every day, which is the job
- HotBag, accused by nobody
The clue cards
Card 1
HOTBAG · DELIVERY RECEIPT
Order: two dozen eggs, one tray.
Customer: a noodle shop.
Delivered 6:14 p.m. to: THE STREET BETWEEN SHOPS (EITHER SIDE).
Status: delivered.
Photo on file: one tray of eggs on a doorstep.
Card 2
THE COURIER, RICKY RIGATONI
“I left them exactly where the pin said. The pin was on the painted line. I had to pick a side, so I picked the side I know, and the side I know has my grandmother on it. I thought that was the safe one.”
Card 3
NONNA RIGATONI, ON HER STEP
“Eggs arrive on my step, I bring them in. Found eggs are family eggs. I didn’t order them, which is how I know they’re a gift.”
Card 4
LAO LAO LOMEIN, AT HER WINDOW
“I ordered eggs. My eggs are across the street. I will not cross the street to ask for my own eggs. She knows where they are. She always knows where everything is.”
Card 5
MENA ORECCHIETTE, FROM HER WINDOW OVER THE STOOP
“At a quarter past six the courier put a tray down on Nonna’s step, looked at his phone, looked across the street, looked at his phone again, and said ‘either side’ out loud, to nobody. Dottie heard it too.”
Card 6
EVIDENCE TAG · FOR THE RECORDS
ITEM: one delivery pin, as shown on the courier’s phone.
LOCATION: the painted line. Exactly on it.
NOTE: the app cannot tell the two sides of the street apart. Nobody else on this block has ever had that problem.
STATUS: suspicious?
Card 7
BENNY FARFALLE, THE MAILMAN
“Sorry. I check the number on every door on Salt Street, both sides, every single time. Nobody pays me to. That’s just how mail works.”
Who touched the eggs?
Solution (spoils this case, not the books)
The culprit is the app.
HotBag snaps every address on this block to the painted line and calls it THE STREET BETWEEN SHOPS (EITHER SIDE). Lao Lao’s eggs went to Nonna’s step, which was correct, according to HotBag.
Nonna will not return eggs she didn’t order. Lao Lao will not cross the line to ask. Each of them is certain the other is the thief, and each of them has a window to be certain from.
HOTBAG · DISPUTE RESOLVED
Dispute resolved in favor of the customer. Both customers.
Two refunds issued from the courier’s earnings: −$8.40.
The customer is always right. There were two of them.
CASE CLOSED. Ralphie has filed it. Nobody apologized.